And here we are in June of 2015 rescuing our beloved dog Alli from the Humane Society one week after we all learned our intact family was going to break apart. Alli came into our lives like a miracle, and look at Ben, right down on her level showing that euphoric love that he could show. She got us all through that very hard year and then only a year later, Ben was gone and Alli got us through that too. That we were not actively thinking about getting a dog at all when she came to us is fascinating to me. A thought simply flitted through my brain days after SP surprised us all with his need to "find happiness" and break our intact family...something inside me said..."Go get a dog for the kids to love while love is breaking apart."...while it wasn't easy for me to suddenly be a dog mom with five kids and a divorce...she was a much needed miracle!
Now, Ben lives on my fridge and in my gardens.
(the rose of sharon he and I planted on his 5th birthday still survives outside my bedroom window after having been brought here from our old house, tucked behind the shed in the Fall before I knew we'd even be able to buy the place. So Grateful! And his confirmation clematis continues to climb up the side of the shed as it is now just about to burst with purple blooms...ahh, what we cling too before we all receive the joy of eternal salvation together...)
It was a hard day today because of that.
No one's child should have to be a memory on the fridge or garden.
But it's the state of things in this sin-fallen world and still we make it through, literally by the Grace of God. Thanks be to God! 💜
So, let's see what's on the fridge.
I made some fridge magnet pictures a while ago.
This is a favorite from the UP where we'd drive by his initials on our way to the cottage. This was our last trip in 2016 and I hate to be a downer but can you even imagine that SP filled Ben's head with the lies that I was abusing him, starting two months before he died... (which SP also did later again with H...his extreme hatred clouded his vision with great severity)...the pic above was three months before he died.
I will always love this one, Summer 2015.
I have a lot to say, but I won't.
Let's just enjoy it.
💜
Also on the fridge is a cherished memory from 2014 when I decided I wanted to take each new 13 year old in the family on a mom/teen weekend trip to Chicago. I was touched today when my friend Sue asked about a favorite memory with Ben and that this was one of them. Ben was first on the list as L1 and I went when she was nine and Ben just turned 13. We had such a perfect weekend, great weather, went to the Shedd Aquarium, Sears Tower, Took a river boat ride, ran into a Survivor player that I thought should have won that year and Ben was cool with me chasing him down on the sidewalk to say "hi" (haha), watched the Stanley Cup together and bought a vacuum off of a tv ad, had great pizza. Love my travel magnets.
A departure from fridge pictures...
Today, I drove out of town about 20 minutes to go get some free burlap off of the Nextdoor App. You know, to cover plants next Fall...yep, that's how I flow...spend $30 in gas (slight exaggeration, but not by much probably!!) to go get free burlap. Ha. Well, it turned out that the lady with the burlap was on a street that had me driving right next to a favorite little garden center in that area, so that was definitely going to be a stop on my way out of town. I pulled up, and low and behold, right in front of my parking spot was this cement heart, standing up, leaning on a garden bench...staring right at me...after I bawled the whole way out to the burlap house from my house and who knows WHAT that lady thought of me as I spoke to her in my "excited to get free burlap" energy with a mess of a face, wowza! (-: So...there was this lovely little garden heart, that I treated myself too, along with this sweet daisy variation and some leeks. Praise God from whom all blessings flow for rescuing me from the depths once again!
Back to the fridge . . .
Alli on our Christmas Card, 2025
Sadly, right about the time I was making the card, Livia and I noticed Alli had a little bit of a bloody nose. I was working full time plus without many minutes to do a thing, but managed to get into the vet the following week, then they scheduled another appointment to be able to look closer. That was December 23rd. We learned that day that our sweet Alli had an aggressive tumor in her head that surgery could not fix. We were given some medications to help her ease the bleeding and try to shrink the tumor, this gave us almost three more weeks together until the hardest decision I've ever had to make needed to be made in mid-January. Livia and I went with her together to what I think they called, "end of life care." I may have another dog sometime, but I still can not imagine that that's possible because that loss was very, very painful. Not sure I can do that again. She was just perfect for us at the most perfect time. She was with us and much loved from June 2015 when they guessed she was about six months old to January 2026.
This is Ben's first Blog birthday
This has links to get to other posts
Thanks for stopping by and remembering Ben with me. Please consider keeping all my wonderful children (almost all adult children now!) in your prayers, thank you! L1, H, W and L2 💜
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