Yes, Praise God, this is Ben's truth. Yes, the comfort and peace that passes beyond all understanding comes throughout many, many of my days from this truth. Yes, we will meet again in heaven one day. Our God is so great!
But,
And I'm sorry to have a "but" when our Heavenly Father takes such amazing care of us,
But,
When you're a mom and it's your son's 18th birthday and the family has to have the sea salt and caramel cupcakes without him, when you have to say "it would have been his 18th birthday," when your son won't graduate this year . . . sometimes it can just still hit you like it just happened yesterday.
August 8, 2010
Age nine, that's how old Livia is right now.
Ben always loved just hanging out in the Lake Superior waters, no problem, not too cold for him. He and I would snorkel looking for favorite rocks. See all the rocks in front of him...
We'd bring bags full of our favorites home every year. I've got them in various gardens, along the edge of the garage, I brought them all with me from the old house. 💜
Ben would always help carry the biggest, heaviest ones to the van for me on our last day, putting them on the floor as someone's foot rest for the 11 hour ride home.
Each year for so many years I'd bring one or two really big ones back and now have just the most perfect stone walkway in my front garden, sprinkled with our little "favorites" along the way.
Today, the Rose of Sharon that Ben and I planted at the old house when he was five. I dug it up and transplanted it behind the shed here before I was even certain I could buy our older house back (older house again we originally owned it from 1999-2003 that I got to buy back again when SP left the family in 2015). The Rose of Sharon now stands about shoulder high, it shoots out new growth every year and beautiful flowers. Even before Ben died, I had planted it behind my bedroom wall outside, it sits behind the headboard of my bed. 💜
Today, the clematis I bought as a center piece for Ben's confirmation brunch. It continues to grow so strong at the corner of the shed where I first placed it. Moving it this spring to the corner of the house near the Rose of Sharon after I move a grapevine and hardy kiwi plant I started there a few years ago. In that area I also have the most soothing, deep sounding chime our former neighbors gave me to remember Ben. I'm looking forward to growing that corner garden of his memories.
July 24, 2016
Age 15.
Our last summer at Lake Superior with our strong, fun-loving Ben.
He always, and I mean always, had the biggest, most natural smile!
💜
And he is sorely missed.
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